Hardscrabble

I used to never understand how people could let themselves get into so much debt that they need to call spending counselors and consolidate debts. It seems easy enough to not buy things you can't afford, or especially don't need. And now I'm here, and I can say that spending money makes you feel better about being broke.

That's hard sentence to logically think about, since there seems to be none in it. I'l try to explain what I mean.

Watching how you spend is a hard task. You are aware of your account balance at all times. The budget you set for yourself is automatically calculated on seeing any price on anything. Exhaustion sets in from setting limits and buying generic. Then something gives out. You stop caring for a night, you make a miscalculation, or you get a little extra money that you grossly underestimate. You go on a wild bender of spending. A "spree" if you will. You're not writing down debits, you aren't saving receipts, and you buy anything and anything you want. You stop thinking about all these mathematical accountancy chores you've had to do. it's spending with confidence. "I can afford it. I can afford it! I CAN AFFORD IT!".

Then you get your statements and you realize you can't. Then you spend the next few days eating mac and cheese in the dark.