Conspectus

I have been very lucky. My college of choice gave me a lot of opportunities to excel and prove myself. I have also been to build experience. I was also very prepared for the job market with a large portfolio and a very good resume. Finding a job was tough, but I got a position that's worked out for me.

Resumes are a very tricky beast. Experts write books and weekly articles about what you need to do to write the perfect resume and to make yourself appear as hireable as possible. I'm baffled by how much of this material is out there. It seems like a very common sense project.

However, some sort of roseate attitude goes into writing the synopsis of a person's work experience. They include any job they've had to show the employer "Hey, at least I've had a job." Working as a fry cook at 16 might not really seal the deal on that sales job.

I have seen other people in graphic design classes send out pencil drawings to employers as samples of their work. It certainly shows their mastery of the copy machine. I hope they include that in the skills list.

Speaking of the skills list. Either ignorance or desperation sets in to fill out that crucial bullet point. I've heard of people including "x-acto knife" proficiency on their skills set. i don't think I could make up anything better than that. I mean, I could say something like "very entertaining/skilled impersonator" but then you'd all know I am bullshitting you. I am not here to bullshit you.

Also, don't use Comic Sans font. Ever. Just don't ever use it. Delete it off of your computer.

There is so much money and time being poured into a one page document. Something that will ultimately be thrown away by the majority of people you send it to, like junk mail. Junk mail that holds a person's future in the balance. Like the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes.

Speaking of which, cross your fingers for me. I need to be visited by the Prize Patrol this Super Bowl Sunday.

Bear down, Chicago Bears.